Defining Trauma
Our society commonly thinks of trauma as a major event, or something that’s glaringly obvious as traumatic, however trauma is better defined as not a specific event but rather as a perceived experience.
How you individually experience something (how your nervous system responds) and who or what helped you through can determine how affected by it you become later on in life.
Trauma can be anything that is too much for too long, too little for too long, or too much in a short period of time.
Below is an example of the three different ways to categorise trauma, but remember trauma is anything that exceeds your ability to cope.
Breaking down trauma into these 3 categories will enable you and the therapist to create a treatment plan that is specific to your individual needs.
1. Acute Trauma- When something happens suddenly. Typically a single incident experience. Eg: Car accident, sexual assault, natural disaster, medical event/emergency.
2. Chronic Trauma- When exposed to an ongoing traumatic experience environment over time. Eg: Childhood neglect/abuse, domestic violence, bullying, parental divorce, substance abuse in the household, sexual abuse, living in poverty or extreme conditions, illness, injury or disability in the household, war.
3. Complex Trauma- When exposed to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature. Eg: Attachment traumas (ruptures in connections with primary caregivers in the early years of life) and or a combination of acute and chronic situations.
Less obvious causes could also involve controlling behaviour, poor boundaries, and a child’s feelings being invalidated.
Unfortunately many medical professionals as well as mental health professionals are still unable to to recognise or support adult individuals with trauma. This can be very isolating and re-traumatising if they do not receive the help that they need.
What are the common signs of attachment trauma in adults?
All forms of trauma can be connected to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, Borderline personality Disorder, Complex PTSD, and Dissociative Disorders. The presence of such conditions could be your first clue. In addition to this attachment trauma often manifests in signs like:
- Self blame, guilt, shame
- Inability to mange stress
- Hyperarousal
- Relationship difficulties (caused by an insecure attachment style)
Other potential red flags to look for:
Avoidence
On some level most individuals often know that traumatic symptoms are influencing their lives so may opt for counterproductive coping strategies. These can range from numbing or blocking emotions to self medicating with drugs, alcohol or another form of distraction).
Another form of avoidance can be a form of control. Growing up in an unpredictable environment can leave a child feeling out of control and helpless. As a result they may find that as adults we may become euphemistically called ‘control freaks’ as they try to ‘make up’ for the pain of the past by controlling their lives and everyone in them.
Self sabotage
If no one protected them from harm during important developmental stages of life when children are at their most vulnerable, adults with attachment trauma are more likely to mimic that behaviour towards themselves. The cycle involves making unhealthy/unhelpful choices and then feeling guilty about how that makes them feel.
Unexplained Psychological and/or Physical symptomsÂ
Psychological:
- Mood swings
- Anger outbursts
- Depression
- Debilitating anxiety
- Impulsivity
- Sadness
- Irritability
Physical:
- Chronic aches, pain and tension
- Sleep disturbances
- Headaches
- Fatigue
- Gastrointestinal problems
Simply put, if chronic symptoms arise for which there is no clear explanation, they require your full attention and be linked to unprocessed trauma.
Healing from attachment trauma
Trauma focussed therapy has a good evidence based track record for helping people with CPTSD/attachment trauma. It is never a linear journey or a simple one, however if you are ready to commit to this particular therapeutic approach it can harbour positive outcomes for the long term. Such as:
- It can support people to learn to have healthy relationships
- Deeper, more healthy communication
- Setting and enforcing boundaries
- Grieve, accept and find meaning in circumstances of the past and move forward
- Increased self-esteem and self-confidence
- Accepting yourself and others- imperfections, disappointments and all
- Develop deep and meaningful relationships
People can heal and grow from their traumatic pasts and learn to thrive, prioritise their needs while still honouring others.
The confused, fearful or lost child inside can recover and experience peace and safety.
If any of this resonates and you would like find out more or to start your healing journey please contact us for more information about therapy and our support groups.
Peace be with you always x